贝阿吕作品

◎董继平 译

风

那磨损的一切都被揉破——熄灭的笑容，死去的思想，褪色的爱情，那永远被抛弃、永远被遗忘的一切，迷失的日子，被淹没的大陆，群星的幽灵——风都把它们统统聚集起来，拉扯着扔在我的脸上。我并没有因此而稍有不安。我勇敢地面对着风。重要的事情就是不要退缩，然后吞掉一切，消化一切。否则，风很早以前就把我给吹翻了，吹得我飞起来，带着我就像其余一切离开，那无法阻碍的风。最后它明白了，习惯于我这个障碍物，这颗肉中刺。如今我们在一起相处得很好，当风吹来的时候，我甚至无需抓住什么东西了，我让自己成为它的一分子。它知道，在它的表皮之下的某处，存在着我这个贪吃的微生物，这空空荡荡的内脏，这敞开的无底之胃。一天中的每个时辰，要是风不把那么多东西、那么多念头、那么多计划收集起来喂我，它们就会被减少到虚无！它知道我那怪物一般奇大的胃口，为了让我满意，它会环绕地球二十次。徒劳无益。如果它有经验，我就有胃。它把一切都带给我：动物、树木、花朵、少女和仙子，我直接摄入，我保持，我跟我的鸟儿、我的云朵混合起来。

THE WIND

Everything that is worn crumpled broken—extinguished smiles，dead thoughts， faded loves， everything that has been forever abandoned， forever forgotten， lost days， submerged continents，ghosts of stars——the wind gathers up，takes in tow，throws in my face.I don，t get upset about so little.I stand up to it.The important thing is not to flinch， then to swallow everything， to digest everything.Otherwise the wind would long ago have knocked me over，and sent me flying，and carried me off like all the rest，the wind that nothing encumbers.Finally it understood， got used to the obstacle，a thorn in its flesh.Now we get on well together;I don't even have to cling on to something when it blows;I make myself one with it.It knows that somewhere under its epidermis there is this voracious microbe，this empty gut，this open maw.How many things，how many ideas，how many projects would be reduced to nothing every hour of the day if it did not collect them to feed me with! It knows my ogre，s appetite and circles the earth twenty times in order to satisfy me.In vain.If it has experience I have a stomach.Everything it brings me，animals，trees，flowers，girls and fairies，I take straight in，I keep，I mix with my birds，my clouds.

摄影师

一天傍晚，正当我要上床睡觉，我感到了一种不安触及到我的灵魂深处，那种不安迅速变成名副其实的折磨。我的生活会留下什么？我从不曾有时间想过。

这样一种偶然的态度的不负责任压倒了我。为了改正它，我感到很焦虑，于是第二天早晨，我就匆匆去买了一台高精密相机，用它就可能给自己摄影。说实话，从那一刻起，我就如此忙碌于有关自己的最微小的细节，以至于我把吃饭喝水都给忘掉了：如今对于我，重要的一切就是我自己在吃饭喝水的过程中的形象了。

既然我不再过着我的生活，而仅仅是拍摄它，我就注意到了我的大多数行为，我迄今为止最严肃认真地表现的行为，容易降低成单纯的表现。我太快就意识到缺乏想象力，老实说，是缺乏对这些视觉记录的兴趣。这批对最常规的姿势的照片收藏品，会把我描绘给子孙后代吗？

因此，这导致我去考虑我的本性的无限复杂性，我发现了许多我总是假装不知道其用途的情感。由于关注于给我的那些伟大的侄甥留下忠实的肖像，即便是以耍花招为代价，这一念头也迅速推动我，让景色和跟这些可能性有某种联系的临时演员伴随自己左右。

人们可以看到，我放弃了国内生活，拿着相机踏上环球旅行。我自然不打算在我被吸引前往的地方耗费任何时间：我的目的纯粹是在这里待得够久，足以拍摄一张快照。然后，我还寻求名人的陪伴，时尚女人、艺术家、政治家，而最终还有一帮拉皮条的人和风尘女子，其中还包括几个小偷和两个凶手。当然，他们大多数人都只是演员。但在他们中间，我终于能在相机前一丝不苟地表演——表演我在生活中扮演的各种角色。

PHOTOGRAPHER

One evening，just as I was going to bed，I felt touched to the depths of my soul by a disquiet that was quickly transformed into a veritable torment.What would remain of my life?I had never had time to think about it.

I was overwhelmed by the irresponsibility of such a casual attitude.Anxious to rectify it，I hurried next morning to purchase a highly sophisticated camera with which it was possible to photograph oneself.From that moment on， It is true to say， I was so busy recording the slightest details concerning myself that I forgot to eat and drink:all that mattered to me now was the image of myself in the process of eating and drinking.

Now that I was no longer living my life but merely photographing it，I noticed that most of my actions，which I had hitherto performed with the greatest seriousness， were easily reduced to their simple representation.Quickly too I became aware of the lack of imagination，to be blunt the lack of interest of these visual records.Was I to be depicted for posterity by this collection of the most conventional gestures?

Led thus to reflect upon the infinite complexity of my nature，I discovered a multitude of emotions of whose use I had always pretended to be ignorant.And the concern to leave to my great nephews a faithful portrait， even at the cost of trickery， quickly impelled me to surround myself with scenery and supernumeraries that had some connection with these possibilities.

I could be seen abandoning a domestic existence and globetrotting camera in hand.Naturally I had no intention of spending any length of time in the places to which I was attracted:my aim was simply to stay here long enough for a snap-shot.Then I sought the company of celebrities，fashionable women，artists，statesmen，and finally even a gang of pimps and prostitutes that included several thieves，and two murderers.Most of them，of course，were only actors.But among them I was at last able to act out scrupulously， in front of the camera,all the parts I had played in my life.