时间:2024-05-04
胡君祥
达莉亚极不情愿地跟着父母来到叔叔的农场里,当叔叔向她介绍了一匹野马的经历后,她主动提出要留下来照料野马……
“I don't want to go.” Daria moved her feet slightly and hung her shoulders. Mom continued packing a bag. “We're going to Uncle Rich's in
Montana for summer vacation. He's your father's brother, and we go there every year.”
Daria stormed out of her mom's room and said angrily, “Nobody ever thinks of me!” “That's enough. We're going,” replied Mom angrily, too.
Their August vacation came sooner than Daria wanted. Before she knew it, she and the family were at Uncle Rich's ranch. Uncle Rich grabbed her dad and hugged him. “Good to see you,” said
Uncle Rich. Daria's brother and sister were twins and two years younger, so they didn't realize how inconvenient and boring being on a ranch was. They raced to see animals. Daria grabbed her bag. “I'm going to my room,” she told her parents.
“Wait a minute, Daria,” said Uncle Rich. “I have got something to show you.” “You come, too,” he said to Daria's parents. At the barn Daria saw the horse. It was of medium size. It had a fine, soft black coat and one white foot. There was a wide white patch that ran down the center of its face. Daria fell in love with it at first sight. “Wow! What a horse.”
“He's a mustang,” said Uncle Rich. “Mustangs are free horses who live in the wild. We found him stuck in the mud down by the river. I didn't know how he got there. My friend and I roped him and managed to get him out. This mustang is a beauty.”
Daria kicked the dirt. “Can I help care for him?” Then she felt her heart beating in expectation.
Uncle Rich laughed. “You bet. The more hands we have, the better. Just don't get too attached. Once we're sure he's okay, we will have to let him loose. Mustangs went from over a million at the beginning of the 20th century to less than 17,000 in 1970. They were hunted for meat.”
Reading check
閱读本文,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。
注意:
1. 所续写短文的词数应为150左右;
2. 续写部分分为两段,每段的开头语已为你写好。
Paragraph 1:
Daria felt her stomach turning. _________________________
Paragraph 2:
She was back to the barn in a flash. _________________________
写作导引
一、分析语篇,梳理基本要素
要想续写内容与所给短文之间逻辑连贯、衔接紧密,必须充分理解所给材料的大意,掌握作者想要传达的意思。本文是一篇记叙文,文章分析如下:
二、阅读续写开头语,展开合理想象
基于原文本和续写段落首句提供的信息,采用围绕中心提问相关问题的方法,构思要续写的故事情节,一般分为四步:
第一步,根据已给出的文本判断文章的
立意。
根据达莉亚的叔叔所讲的野马的情况可推断出本文的立意应是爱护动物。
第二步,根据续写第二段所给出的段首句倒推续写第一段应包括什么内容。
分析第二段的段首句“她立即回到了马厩。”可知,续写第一段要写达莉亚离开马厩去做什么,这样才能确保续写的两段是衔接的。
第三步,围绕续写第一段所给出的段首句以及以上的分析进行提问构思:
(1)Why did Daria feel her stomach turning?
(2)What did Daria say when she felt her stomach turning?
(3)Where did Daria go after leaving the barn?
(4)What did Daria do after leaving the barn?
第四步,围绕续写第二段所给出的段首句进行提问构思:
(1)Why did Daria return to the barn in a flash?
(2)What did Daria do after returning to the barn?
(3)How did Daria interact with the mustang?
(4)What decision did she make after interacting with the mustang?
三、润色成篇
在续写的过程中要注意情节连贯,各部分内容相衔接,即:
1. 两段的续写与所给短文的衔接;
2. 每段的续写与续写段首句之间的衔接;
3. 续写的两段之间的衔接。
同时要注意语言风格的一致和语法、句型以及所用词语的准确性。例如,刻画人物形象时运用恰当的形容词使其栩栩如生;描写人物心理活动时使用一些动词或副词使其细微深入。
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