时间:2024-05-05
张秋红 杨燕
下面通過例题说明,我们在做读后续写时应遵循的三个基本步骤。
阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。
Every Sunday, Grandma and I walked to the Childrens home a few blocks away from our house. Grandma always brings a home-made cake to these children, who are of different nationalities and ages. Some are refugees(难民)who cannot talk in English, some are even disabled.
First we visit John, who is from Brazil. I call him“Football genius”. He plays football so well that he organized a football team to help other kids develop football skills, such as passing and ball control. Every time we reached the playground, we saw a group of sweaty kids running around a field with bright smiles.
Next we visit Daisy. I call her“The singer”because she has a great gift for singing. She loves to sing songs for us. Wherever she stays, her soft and sweet voice fills the air.
Then we visit David. I call him“Prince(王子)Joke”. He can do talk show, crosstalk(相声), tell jokes. Sometimes he laughs loudly while telling jokes, we could see his legs shaking up and down, his face turning red. Grandma and I cant help laughing along with him.
One day, Grandma fell ill and had to stay in bed. She was in a low spirit and couldnt move.
Sunday came. Grandma put my hand into her hand and told me“Rose given, fragrance(芳香)in hand.”I understood what she meant, I bought a cake from shop and went to childrens home. Everyone was happy to see me. They were disappointed when they didnt see grandma. Knowing grandma was sick, they were sad. They prayed together for grandmas recovery. After a while, I said goodbye to everyone.
A week later, grandma was still lying in bed. She could not walk or speak, what she could do was drink some milk. I begged her to go to hospital. She shook her head. I hid myself under the big tree in our yard so Grandma wouldnt see tears on my cheeks.
注意:
1. 续写词数应为150左右;
2. 请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。
Suddenly, the door bell rang.
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That evening, grandma called me in her bedroom.
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一、閱读所给材料,理清故事要点
仔细阅读所给故事材料,搞清楚故事的主要人物(who)、时间(when)、地点(where)、事件(what),原因(why),及如何发展(how)。即五个W和1个how,也就是记叙文的六要素。如上述题目所给材料的六要素是:
文章的大意就是作者的奶奶很有爱心,经常看望福利院的孩子们,了解孩子们的爱好特长。一天奶奶生病了,依旧牵挂着孩子们,让作者去探望孩子们。作者把奶奶生病的消息告诉给了福利院的孩子。奶奶的病情加重,还丧失了信心,不肯去医院。作者焦虑万分。
二、捕捉首句信息,构思续写情节
1. 理解paragraph 1所给句:Suddenly, the door bell rang(突然,门铃响了).
前文结尾,奶奶病重,情绪低落,拒不就医,由首句中的Suddenly可知,有了转机。可以bell ring为突破口,运用记叙文的六要素构思情节:
门铃响了,是谁来看望奶奶来了?带着这个问题,读者来构思第一个续写段落。
谁(who)来看望奶奶?带来了什么(what)?为什么(why)要来探望?如何(how)进行探望的?奶奶的感受如何(how)? 根据这一系列的问题,迅速构思情节并组织语言。
2. 理解续写的Paragraph 2首句:That evening, grandma called me in her bedroom(那天晚上,奶奶把我叫到她的卧室).
思考:奶奶叫我进来做什么, 先在头脑中构思各种可能性:
(1)Grandma wants to go to hospital.
(2)Grandma was hungry, she needs to eat something.
(3)Grandma wants to go to Childrens home.
三、根据构思情节,考虑语言表达
1. 苍白的脸上浮现出困惑的表情。
A confused look appeared on her pale face.
2. 脸上露出了满足的微笑。
A satisfied smile flashed on her face.
3. 眼里闪现着喜悦的光芒。
Her eyes were shining with joy.
4. 一个声音回响在他的脑海里。
A voice echoed /?謖ek?藜?尬/ in her mind.
5. 孩子们的微笑闪现在她的脑海里。
Childrens smiles flashed through her mind.
6. 一个用水果装饰的好看的心形蛋糕
a nice-looking cake decorated with fruits in the shape of heart
7. 一张色彩鲜艳的照片
a bright-colored picture
8. 一大碗粥
a big bowl of porridge
9. 她挣扎着站起来。
She struggle to her feet.
10. 聚集起她所有的体力
gather all her strength
11. 忍住眼泪
hold back tears
12. 睁开她的眼睛坐起来
opened her eyes and sat up
13. 喝了一大碗粥,尝了一小块蛋糕
drank a big bowl of porridge and tasted a bit of cake
14. 打开录音机
switched on the recorder
15. 把录音机和照片抱在她的怀里
hugged the recorder and picture into her arms
16. 轻轻地,她告诉我她第二天要去医院。
Gently, she told me she would go to hospital the next day.
17. 很明顯,她渴望尽快恢复,以便去看望那些可爱的孩子。
Evidently, she was eager to recover soon to visit the lovely kids .
18. 内心充满喜悦
overwhelmed /?謣o?尬v?藜r?謖welm/ by enormous joy
19.奔向他的怀抱
throw herself into his arms
20. 泪眼朦胧中,他们拥抱到一起。
With teary eyes,they hugged together.
21. 无法隐藏他的激动
cant conceal /k?藜n?謖si:l/ his excitement
22. 迫不及待地跟她分享喜悦的消息
cant wait to share the exciting news with her
23. 喜悦的泪水冲出了她的眼眶
happy tears welled up in her eyes
在考虑好语言表达之后,就连句成篇,然后仔细检查;准备无误后,认真誊写,并注意书写规范,字迹整洁。
参考范文
Suddenly, the door bell rang. Grandma opened her eyes and sat up. A confused look appeared on her pale face. Suddenly, a loud laughter came into my ears.“Its David, the Joke Prince.” I shouted.“We miss you.”David rushed to grandma with a delicate cake in his hands. It was a nice-looking cake decorated with fruits in the shape of heart.“The cake is made by all children in the nursery home.”David said and switched on the recorder, a sweet voice filled the air. It was a song sung by Daisy. Magically, he took out a picture. In the picture, grandma was watching Johns football team playing football.
That evening, grandma called me in her bedroom. She said she was hungry. She drank a big bowl of porridge and tasted a bit of cake. A satisfied smile flashed on her face. Her eyes were shining with joy. With tears in her eyes, she hugged the recorder and picture into her arms. She told me she would go to hospital the next day. She was eager to recover soon to visit the lovely kids.“ What a magic visit!”I whispered. Nothing is more fantastic than being needed and valued.
責任编辑 蒋小青
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