为何讨厌特朗普？

内特·怀特

A few things spring to mind. Trump lacks certain qualities which the British traditionally esteem. For instance， he has no class， no charm， no coolness， no credibility， no compassion， no wit， no warmth， no wisdom， no subtlety， no sensitivity， no self-awareness， no humility， no honour and no grace—all qualities， funnily enough， with which his predecessor Mr. Obama was generously blessed. So for us， the stark contrast does rather throw Trumps limitations into embarrassingly sharp relief.

Plus， we like a laugh. And while Trump may be laughable， he has never once said anything wry， witty or even faintly amusing—not once， ever. I dont say that rhetorically， I mean it quite literally： not once， not ever. And that fact is particularly disturbing to the British sensibility—for us， to lack humour is almost inhuman. But with Trump， its a fact. He doesnt even seem to understand what a joke is—his idea of a joke is a crass comment， an illiterate insult， a casual act of cruelty.

Trump is a troll. And like all trolls， he is never funny and he never laughs; he only crows or jeers. And scarily， he doesnt just talk in crude， witless insults—he actually thinks in them. His mind is a simple bot-like algorithm of petty prejudices and knee-jerk nastiness.

There is never any under-layer of irony， complexity， nuance or depth. Its all surface. Some Americans might see this as refreshingly upfront. Well， we dont. We see it as having no inner world， no soul. And in Britain we traditionally side with David， not Goliath. All our heroes are plucky underdogs： Robin Hood， Dick Whittington， Oliver Twist. Trump is neither plucky， nor an underdog. He is the exact opposite of that. Hes not even a spoiled rich-boy， or a greedy fat-cat. Hes more a fat white slug. A Jabba the Hutt1 of privilege.

And worse， he is that most unforgivable of all things to the British： a bully. That is， except when he is among bullies; then he suddenly transforms into a snivelling sidekick instead. There are unspoken rules to this stuff—the Queensberry rules of basic decency—and he breaks them all. He punches downwards—which a gentleman should， would， could never do—and every blow he aims is below the belt. He particularly likes to kick the vulnerable or voiceless—and he kicks them when they are down.

So the fact that a significant minority—perhaps a third—of Americans look at what he does， listen to what he says， and then think ‘Yeah， he seems like my kind of guy is a matter of some confusion and no little distress to British people， given that：

· Americans are supposed to be nicer than us， and mostly are.

· You dont need a particularly keen eye for detail to spot a few flaws in the man.

This last point is what especially confuses and dismays British people， and many other people too; his faults seem pretty bloody hard to miss. After all， its impossible to read a single tweet， or hear him speak a sentence or two， without staring deep into the abyss. He turns being artless into an art form; he is a Picasso of pettiness; a Shakespeare of shit. His faults are fractal： even his flaws have flaws， and so on ad infinitum. God knows there have always been stupid people in the world， and plenty of nasty people too. But rarely has stupidity been so nasty， or nastiness so stupid. He makes Nixon look trustworthy and George W look smart. In fact， if Frankenstein decided to make a monster assembled entirely from human flaws—he would make a Trump.

And a remorseful Doctor Frankenstein would clutch out big clumpfuls of hair and scream in anguish： ‘My God… what… have… I… created？ If being a twat was a TV show， Trump would be the boxed set.

立刻涌上心頭的答案：特朗普缺乏英国人向来崇尚的一些品质。比如：他无风度，无魅力，不冷静，不可靠，同情阙如，机敏匮乏，毫无热情，缺少智慧，欠灵活，少悟性，不自知，不谦卑，不义且无礼，凡此种种，不一而足——说来也怪，特朗普缺乏的那些品质都是其前任奥巴马先生充分具备的。对我们而言，这种鲜明的对比让特朗普的种种缺陷颇为尴尬地彰显无遗。

另外，我们都喜欢笑。特朗普或许可笑，但他从不打趣，也不风趣，所说的话甚至丝毫都不好玩儿，从来没有。此话毫不夸张，而是恰如其分，从来没有。这一点尤其让英国人在情感上感到硌硬，对我们来说，缺乏幽默几乎等于缺乏人性。然而，这在特朗普身上确是事实。更有甚者，他似乎不解玩笑，玩笑在他那里就是粗暴愚蠢的评论、无知拙劣的侮辱和漫不经心的残忍。

特朗普是个怪兽。像所有怪兽一样，他总是板着脸，不苟言笑;他只会夸夸其谈或冷言奚落。更恐怖的是，他不仅说起话来粗鲁无知，污言秽语，简直连思考起来也是如此。他的思维就是自动程序般的简单算法，包含着狭隘的偏见和本能的恶意。

他的言谈从无任何潜藏的反讽、复杂、微变或深意，一切流于表面。有些美国人或许认为这一点别具一格，其人坦诚直爽。我们可不这么看，我们觉得这是内心空虚，没有灵魂。在英国，我们一向崇尚大卫，而不是哥利亚。我们心目中的英雄都是勇敢的弱势者，例如：罗宾汉、狄克·惠廷顿、奥利弗·特维斯特。特朗普恰好与他们相反，既不勇敢，也非弱势。与其说他是一个娇生惯养的公子，或者贪婪成性的大亨，不如说他是一个又白又胖的鼻涕虫，一个享受特权的赫特人贾巴。

更可恨的是，他恃强凌弱，这一点最为英国人难以原谅。但与其他恃强凌弱者在一起时，他却摇身一变，立马纡尊降贵，可怜兮兮起来。这等事一般都遵循一种不成文的规则——最起码的昆斯伯里文明规则，但他打破了一切规则。他专攻下三路，招招瞄准裤带以下部位，从理性、意愿和规则上讲，这些均非君子所为。他尤喜打击最脆弱、最沉默的人群，而且，就算他们倒下了，他照样打击。

大约三分之一的美国人——虽是少数，但却举足轻重——察其言，观其行，认为“他似乎是我喜欢的家伙”。这令英国人不解，也让我们深感忧虑，尤其是考虑到以下两点：

·美国人应该比我们友善，而且大多的确如此;

·在这个人身上找出几处毛病并不需要什么洞察入微的法眼。

第二点令英国人特别费解和失望，也令其他很多人百思不得其解，他的毛病似乎太难失察。毕竟，读他一条推文，听他说一两句话，就不难“发觉”且深受影响。他经常把拙劣说成艺术，他是无聊王国的毕加索，胡扯界的莎士比亚。他的错误生发错误，甚至连毛病也存在着毛病，循环往复，无穷尽焉。众所周知，世上总有蠢货，也充斥着不堪之徒，但愚蠢至如此不堪，不堪至如此愚蠢，却甚为罕见。相对于他，尼克松都显得可信，小布什也显得聪敏起来。说实话，如果弗兰肯斯坦决意用人类的缺点组装一个怪物，他一定会制造出一个特朗普。

果真如此，悔恨不已的弗兰肯斯坦博士一定会揪住大把头发，痛苦万分地呼号：“天哪！我—创—造—了—什—么？”假如装疯卖傻是一档电视节目，那么特朗普便是此类节目之集大成者。

（译者单位：广东省珠海市兆征纪念学校）