Adopting an Abandoned Baby: A Family’s Experience弃婴收养记

帕蒂·沃尔德迈尔 罗小艺

As stories go， the tale of how a desperately ill， nameless baby from China turned into Bella Xin KaLare Strickland of West Monroe， Louisiana， is an extraordinary one. Three short years ago， a friend and I found the newborn， swaddled1 in several layers of clothing and abandoned in a Shanghai alleyway. Three years later she is a stroppy2 toddler， living a charmed life in sunny Louisiana.

Baby Bella， was nicknamed “Baby Donuts” by the press， given for the Dunkin’ Donuts outlet where her birth parents chose to leave her in December 2010. She was about six weeks old. More than 110，000 children born in China have been adopted by families overseas in the past two decades.

A friend and I found her one night， only steps from one of Shanghai’s top hotels. She was lying on top of two plastic bags that bulged with new baby clothes， tins of infant formula， packs of newborn nappies and scrubbed3-clean baby bottles： the only love note a mother could dare to leave， for a child she would never know.

The fact that her parents chose to leave her at a place frequented by foreigners may mean they wanted her to end up living overseas. Or maybe they didn’t. Maybe they wanted a healthy baby， if they were only going to have one child. Bella has a number of disabilities， including a congenital4 heart defect， blindness in both eyes from cataracts and a partially webbed5 foot. Perhaps her parents simply couldn’t cope.

In lots of ways， theirs was an entirely rational decision： in China， many families have only minimal health insurance， and the cost of all the surgery Baby Donuts needed could have bankrupted even a family of substantial means.

What seems less rational is why LaKasha and Jeremy Strickland， living on a shoestring6 in a town 12，000km away， felt able， not to mention willing， to do for Baby Donuts what her birth family could not. Even their US adoption agency， through which they first heard about Bella， warned them off， saying the baby had “too many red flags”. When they started the adoption process in July 2012， the couple had just $100 in savings. Jeremy had been medically retired from the US Air Force for chronic headaches and LaKasha had just left her job to become more involved with her church. Adopting a child with serious medical needs wasn’t the obvious next move.

But the Stricklands are clear about why they did it： among other things， because God wanted them to. “God put adoption in our hearts，” LaKasha says. “God stirred our hearts and we started searching.” It can cost upwards of $30，000 to adopt a special needs child from China， including paperwork， translations and travel costs. Raising such a child， even in the promised land of Obamacare7， will doubtless cost considerably more （in spite of Jeremy’s excellent medical insurance as an ex-serviceman）.

Undeterred， the Stricklands launched a “Bring Baby Bella to America” campaign in October 2012， enlisting family， friends， members of their church and even the Bible to fundraise. They set up a tent in the parking lot of the local Walmart to sell T-shirts emblazoned with these words from James8 1：27： “Pure and lasting religion in the sight of God our Father is to care for orphans in their troubles.” They sold 260 plates of “chicken cheesy spaghetti” at a church lunch， raising $2，500. They even stood at traffic lights with a bucket and a poster of Bella， collecting dollar bills.

Their experience at the traffic lights yielded both cash and encouragement. “It was so hard at first， feeling silly and prideful，” she writes. “But after a little wait a few cars started pulling in9 and asking about her and putting dollars in our bucket.

And then there was the miracle of the $3，110 bank deposit： the Stricklands have never figured out exactly where it came from， but they do know that $3，110 was exactly what they needed to pay for the “home study” 10 by social workers， which is a prerequisite of any adoption from China. And there was the former sister-in-law who borrowed $4，000 to help them， and the bank employee who cleared the way， unexpectedly， for the Stricklands to refinance their home.

Bella became a member of the family long before she got to Louisiana. On her second birthday （which she spent in the orphanage）， the Stricklands posed for a family portrait， each clutching a donut， to symbolise their bond with the baby. LaKasha even dyed her hair black before they flew to Shanghai， so that Bella would not be too shocked at her appearance.

I adopted my own two （healthy） Chinese daughters as infants in 2000 and 2002 using the money I had saved during a lifetime of working. Most adoptive parents go through the same agonising moment when an orphanage nanny hands us our child—and they shriek in outrage. Bella， then two-and-a-half years old， went one better： she tried to escape.

But by the time I joined the family 48 hours later， Bella had already begun to blossom. I remembered a beautiful newborn in a blanket： what I saw two years later was a determined， winsome and mischievous toddler， tripping off on her little spindly legs to explore her surroundings.

LaKasha， Jeremy and Peyton were all besotted with her already， pointing out the cataracts in her eyes and the webbing of her toes like other parents might brag about dimples， and inviting me to feel the prow-like protrusion11 of her ribcage12 left after her heart defect had its initial repair.

Later we took Bella to the Dunkin’ Donuts where our story began， in the company of my friend John Fearon， the British businessman who first heard her abandoned cries. Not surprisingly， she couldn’t have cared less （especially since the donut shop had closed）. But we adults all spent a moment feeling the tragic miracle that is every Chinese adoption—and the pain of birth parents who cannot keep their child.

Bella is now “settling in beautifully” to her new life. “She is constantly competing with her brother. If he talks she talks louder. She is so smart： she loves to count and sing and say her prayers all by herself，” LaKasha says.

LaKasha hopes Bella’s birth parents may one day read these words， and know they can find their baby living happily in Louisiana. But unless and until they do， no one need worry about Baby Donuts. She’s just where she needs to be. Hallelujah.

一个身患重疾、无名无姓的中国弃婴，最终成为生活在路易斯安那州西门罗市的贝拉·辛·卡拉尔·斯特里克兰，这个故事是如此不同寻常。三年前，在上海一条弄堂里，我和一个朋友发现了一个裹着层层衣服的弃婴。短短三年后，她已长成一个娇蛮的学步幼童，在阳光明媚的路易斯安那州过着安乐无忧的生活。

媒体给小贝拉取了个昵称“甜甜圈宝宝”——2010年12月，亲生父母把她留在了一家唐恩都乐甜甜圈店外面。当时，她差不多才6周大。过去20年，超过11万出生于中国的孩子被外国家庭收养。

我和朋友是在夜里发现她的，地点离上海一家顶级酒店仅几步之遥。她躺在两个鼓鼓的塑料袋上，袋子里装着婴儿新衣服、几罐配方奶粉、数包新生儿尿布和几只擦洗得干干净净的奶瓶——这是一位母亲有勇气留下的唯一彰显母爱的东西，留给她从此离别的孩子。

婴儿父母选择把她留在一个外国人经常往来的地点，这可能意味着他们希望孩子最终能到国外生活。也许不是这个原因。如果只计划要一个，他们可能想要健健康康的孩子。而贝拉疾病缠身，包括先天性心脏缺陷、白内障导致的双目失明和部分并趾畸形。或许，她的父母只是难以承受。

从许多方面来看，他们的决定是完全理性的。在中国，许多家庭仅有最低限度的医疗保险，而“甜甜圈宝宝”需要的所有手术费用甚至高到会让一个殷实之家破产。

相比之下，拉卡莎·斯特里克兰和杰里米·斯特里克兰似乎就不那么理性了。这对夫妇在1.2万公里外的小镇上过着清贫生活，可他们不仅愿意，而且觉得自己能够为“甜甜圈宝宝”做到连亲生父母都做不到的事。甚至连他们咨询的美国领养机构（他们通过这家机构第一次得知贝拉的存在）也告诫他们，这个孩子身上有“太多不利因素”。2012年7月启动领养程序时，他们只有100美元的积蓄。当时杰里米因慢性头痛已从美国空军退休，拉卡莎也刚辞职，以便有更多时间投入教会活动。收养一个迫切需要医疗救治的孩子，显然并非下一步该做的事。

但斯特里克兰夫妇很清楚自己为什么要这样做，其中一个原因就是，上帝希望他们这样做。“上帝把收养孩子的念头放进了我们心里。”拉卡莎说，“上帝拨动我们的心弦，于是我们开始寻找。”从中国收养一个有特殊需求的孩子，所需费用高达3万美元，包括文书、翻译费用和交通开支。而且，即便身处奥巴马医疗法案之下的乐土，抚养这样一个孩子长大无疑需要巨大的额外开销（虽然杰里米作为退役军人享有优厚的医疗保险）。

斯特里克兰夫妇毫不气馁，他们在2012年10月发起名为“带小贝拉来美国”的活动，借助家人、朋友、教会成员甚至《圣经》的力量进行募捐。他们在当地沃尔玛的停车场里支起摊位售卖T恤，T恤上印着《雅各书》第1章第27节经文“在神我们的父面前，那清洁没有玷污的虔诚，就是看顾在患难中的孤儿寡妇”。在一次教堂午餐会上，他们卖出260盘“鸡肉芝士意大利面”，筹得2500美元。他们甚至拿着桶，举着贝拉的海报站在红绿灯前募集善款。

红绿灯前的筹款经历让他们既获得了捐款，也受到了鼓舞。“一开始确实很困难，感觉既愚蠢又自傲。”她写道，“但没过多久，就开始有几辆车停下，他们询问贝拉的情况，然后把钱放进我们的桶里。”

然后，奇迹般地出现了一笔3110美元的银行存款。斯特里克兰夫妇至今没能找出这笔钱来自何处，但他们明白，3110美元恰恰是需要支付给社工进行家庭审查的费用，而家庭审查是从中国领养孩子的必经程序。而且，有一位与他们曾有姻亲关系的女子借给了他们4000美元。当斯特里克兰夫妇用住宅再次贷款时，还有一位银行员工出乎意料地为他们排除了障碍。

在去往路易斯安那州之前，贝拉早已成为这个家庭的一分子。贝拉在孤儿院过两岁生日那天，斯特里克兰一家拍了张全家福，每人手里都握着一个甜甜圈，象征他们和这个孩子之间的联系。拉卡莎甚至在飞往上海之前把头发染成黑色，好让贝拉不会对她的外表感到过于讶异。

2000年和2002年，我用一辈子的工作积蓄收养了两个健康的中国女孩。当孤儿院保姆把孩子交给我们时，我们经历了大多数养父母都会经历的痛苦时刻——孩子们愤怒嚎啕。而当时两岁半的贝拉做得更绝——她挣扎着要逃跑。

不过48小时之后，当我与这一家人会合时，贝拉已经展开笑靥。我不由得想起两年前那个裹在毯子里的漂亮新生儿。两年后再见，我看到的是一个蹒跚学步的孩童，坚定、可爱又淘气，迈开纤细双腿磕磕绊绊地探索周遭世界。

拉卡莎、杰里米和佩顿早已完全被她迷住，指着她眼睛里的白内障和脚上的并趾给我看，就像其他父母夸耀自家孩子的酒窝那样，还让我触摸她胸腔上的一块突起之处，那是心脏缺陷接受初期修复手术后留下的。

随后，我们带着贝拉去了那家唐恩都乐甜甜圈店，那是故事开始的地方。 我的朋友约翰·费伦陪着我们，正是这位英国商人第一个听到贝拉被遗弃时的啼哭声。不出所料，贝拉对这个地方毫无反应（尤其因為甜甜圈店已经关门了）。但我们这些成年人都深深感怀，既为每一个收养中国孩子的故事里那蒙着悲伤色彩的奇迹，也为了亲生父母无法养育自己骨肉的痛苦。

如今，贝拉正“愉快地适应”新生活。“她时常和哥哥竞争。如果哥哥说话，她就说得更大声。她很聪明，喜欢数数、唱歌、自己完整说出祷告词。”拉卡莎说道。

拉卡莎希望，有一天贝拉的亲生父母能读到这些文字，能获知自己的孩子正在路易斯安那州快乐地生活着。即便他们没有读到，也无须再为甜甜圈宝宝忧心挂念了。她就在她应该在的地方，一切安好。哈利路亚。

（译者为“《英语世界》杯”翻译大赛获奖选手）