无形的谋杀Invisible Murder

林巍

林奕含，一个有才气的台湾青年美女作家，因少时遭受性侵而患上抑郁症;曾两度考上大学，均因健康问题而休学。于是在家写作，但终因熬不过2痛苦，于2017年自杀了，年仅26岁，留下一部令人叹息的《房思琪的初恋乐园》。

生活在一个表面平和的社会，一个有灵性的少女原本会有幸福的生活，但细读其自传性作品，可以发现宁静的日常生活中其实潜伏着种种危险的因素——足以伤人，甚至杀人，而并未被大部分人所感知。

首先是意识的模糊。房思琪（作者的原型）13岁时，认为老师是没有性别的，在一定程度上把教師和医生混同起来。在受到国文教师李国华的性侵后，为使自己不那么痛苦，思琪于是说服自己：既然老师说过爱我，我们也说过爱老师3，那么你爱的人对你做什么都可以，不是吗？

同时是性教育的缺失。当思琪被性侵后，想提醒妈妈：“我们家什么都有，就是没有性教育。”妈妈回答：“什么性教育？性教育是给那些需要性的人的，所谓教育不永远是这样吗？”一次，她又试探着对妈妈说“听说学校里有女同学和老师在一起了”，妈妈又是当头一句：“谁呀，这么小就这么骚？”从此思琪在父母面前闭了嘴。当思琪第一次告诉闺蜜她和李老师“在一起了”，闺蜜先是不懂，后说“你真的好恶心，我没办法和你说话了”。这些正坐实了那位国文教师的判断：“家教4好”的女生，往往代表了家庭性教育的空白。

还有传统社会的氛围。被李老师性侵的郭晓奇，竟然是被女老师亲自送到他的小公寓的。开头几次郭晓奇闹着自杀，后渐渐平静，最后她甚至说5：“老师，如果你是真的爱我，那就算了。”这一点，酷似张爱玲小说《色·戒》中的王佳芝，为了自己也弄不清的“爱”，陪上了自己连同爱国小团体的性命！还有《半生缘》中的顾曼桢，最终为了爱孩子自愿嫁给了强奸自己的姐夫！

传统社会中的情节一再重复上演：在张爱玲小说《小艾》中，有妻有妾的五老爷强奸了十四五岁的小丫头，听说她怀孕后，周边女人的反应是：“这个丫头，这么大点年纪，哪儿想到她已这样坏了！真是人小鬼大。”在林奕含的笔下，当郭晓奇把事情和盘托出的时候，她的父母竟然前来向老师道歉，为“破坏了老师家庭幸福”而深深自责！在这种不对等的关系中，老师永远是对的6。

关于“名声”，又是一个历来说不清的问题。林奕含在脸书里转述过一个性侵案：辅大社科院的女院长夏林清为了不让事件影响学校名声，选择了低调7处理，不让受害者报案;而事情曝露后，夏林清被舆论攻击，在各种压力之下，首先出来道歉的，却是受害者！同样，在该书，李老师之所以选择思琪下手，主要是看中了她的性格：如此自尊心强的女生绝不会把受性侵这样肮脏的事情说出去的。

于是，作者奇怪地发现，社会对性问题的禁忌实在太便于谴责受害者;强暴一个女生，全社会都觉得是她的错，连她也觉得是自己的错8。

法律意识在此问题上的普遍淡薄，是造成弱者受伤害的又一大因素。与14岁以下儿童发生性关系，无论同意与否，在世界上都普遍被法律定为强奸罪，受到严惩。此外，还有一个信用关系中的犯罪问题，即当事人地位不平等，弱势一方尤其是未成年人（即使年龄超过14岁），对性行为的同意是有缺陷的，而信任关系的存在又导致受害人无从反抗9，因而许多国家的法律对这种犯罪行为都同样予以严惩。如果，林奕含及其周围的人，都具有这种法律知识和条件，生活在相对完善的法律社会里，作者恐怕也不会那么轻易地走上绝路。

当然，更多的是社会中对于受害者无意识的加害。诸如前面看到的，人们不经意的一句话、一个表情、一条潜规则、一种习俗或偏见，都会对一个濒临崩溃的人10，堆积起一根根压在骆驼身上的稻草，最后将其摧毁。

著名作家巴金在他晚年的《随想录》中反省：对于那么多文化名人在“文革”中的惨死，自己虽没有参与迫害，但仍负有责任，因为出现在了批判会场而没有说“不”，本身就是一种帮凶。今天，有多少人会意识到，对于身边的种种不公和悲剧，你的漠视和无语，其实就等于参与了迫害甚至谋杀？

Lin Yihan， a talented young beauty writer of Taiwan， suffered depression as a result of sexual assault when she was young. She was twice admitted to universities and twice suspended for health reasons. Writing at home， she was unable to cope with the pain and finally committed suicide in 2017 at the age of 26， leaving behind her novel Fancy’s First Love Paradise， a lament.

Living in a seemingly peaceful society， an intelligent girl would have had a happy life. Carefully reading her autobiographical work， however， one can easily sense various dangers lurking in a quiet daily life enough to hurt or even kill someone without being perceived by most people.

The muddled mind plays a primary role. At the age of 13， Fancy （the author’s archetype）， the main character of the book， believed that teachers are gender blind， in a sense being no different from doctors. After being sexually assaulted by Mr. Li Guohua， a teacher of Chinese， she convinced herself that it was amicable behavior by a teacher with whom love was mutual. “Nothing could go wrong”—which seemingly could ease the pain.

A lack of sex education is another problem. Again， when Fancy was assaulted by her teacher， she tried to raise it with her mother： “We have everything in our home now except sex education.” The answer was “What sex education？ Sex education is for those who need sex. Isn’t this so-called education always for such purpose？” Another time， she tried to find out her mother’s attitude towards the cohabitation of a teacher and student. The response was： “Who is so coquettish at such a young age？” She then shut up completely on such matters in front of her parents. Fancy also once said to her close friend： “I and my teacher Mr. Li are together now.” Initially， her friend was puzzled by the euphemism and then replied： “You are so disgusting！ I can’t talk to you anymore！” All these incidents simply confirm the teacher’s judgment that female students of good upbringing often come from families where sex education is absent.

The social ambience of a traditional society is also responsible for such tragedies. Guo Xiaoqi， another victim of Mr. Li’s sexual harassment， had been sent to the scene by her female teacher. After several of her suicide attempts failed， Xiaoqi had gradually calmed down and even solicited the teacher： “Can you say you really love me？ If so， I don’t really mind anymore.” In this case， she truly resembles the character Wang Jiazhi portrayed in Zhang Ailing’s novel Lust and Caution， who not only lost her life but also destroyed her patriotic team for a ridiculous notion of “love” she couldn’t actually figure out herself. And another character， Gu Manzhen in Eighteen Springs， finally married her rapist， her brother-in-law， for the sake of her child.

There seems to be a repeated scenario in traditional society： Uncle Five， with wife and concubines， raped a teenage girl. After noticing her pregnancy， women around her all responded with accusatory remarks： “It’s hard to think of a little girl as young as her has having been so degenerate. A child daring to do great mischief！” （Zhang Ailing’s novel Little Ai）. Similarly， in Lin Yihan’s writing， when Guo Xiaoqi’s parents knew the whole story， they came to apologize to the teacher for ruining his happy family life！ In such an unequal relationship， the teacher always wins.

“Reputation” is always another murky issue. In her own Facebook page， Lin Yihan posted an example of the female president of the Academy of Social Sciences in Fu Ren University， Mrs. Xia Linqing， downplaying sexual abuse to protect its reputation. When the incident was exposed， under tremendous pressure， the person who came out to apologize was not the president but the victim！ In this book， the teacher dared to target Fancy mainly due to her personality; he knew only too well that a girl of high self-esteem would never speak about such “dirty things”.

Strangely， the author discovered that sex was such a taboo subject that it had become very convenient for society to condemn a schoolgirl involved in sexual scandal， so that even she herself had to go through such soul-searching.

A lack of legal awareness also causes harm to the weak. Sexual relations with children under the age of 14 have universally been made a crime regardless of consent， and are severely punished. In addition， there is a criminal issue involving relations of trust， where， even if over the age of 14， the minors’ vulnerable position often impairs their consent to sex， let alone their ability to resist. Many countries have also imposed heavy punishment for such crimes. If the author， together with people around her， had been well equipped with such knowledge of the law and a more protective legal community， she would certainly not have been doomed so easily.

Victimization， however， more often than not occurs unconsciously in society. A casual word， expression， custom， prejudice or hidden rule， as seen in the examples above， can all become invisible straws mounting up to kill the camel eventually.

Ba Jin， a famous Chinese writer， reflected in Random Thoughts written in his later years that he had been partly responsible for so many tragic deaths of cultural celebrities during the “Cultural Revolution” even though he did not actually participate in their persecution： his presence in criticism sessions without saying “No” had made him an accomplice. Today， how many people realize that their indifference to and silence about injustices and tragedies around them actually constitute part of persecution or even murder？