浙江省新高考英语写作题型之概要写作介绍及范例点评

陈科芳

《普通高等学校招生全国统一考试英语科考试说明（高考综合改革试验省份试用）（第一版）》已经公布。作为试点单位，浙江省对2016年10月份开始的新高考英语科目考试题型作了重大调整，其中英语写作分为两部分，共40分：第一部分为应用文写作（15分），第二部分为读后续写或概要写作（25分），两种形式在不同考次不定期交替使用。对于应用文写作，广大师生相对熟悉，但是读后续写或概要写作是一种新题型，之前考试中考生并未接触过。为方便广大师生尽早熟悉这种题型，适应相关变化，本刊特设学生习作点评栏目。上一期我们已经分析了读后续写题型，这期分析概要写作题型，学生习作选自杭州某高中。题型介绍

概要写作题型的基本要求为：

提供一篇350词以内的短文，要求考生基于该短文写出一篇60词左右的内容概要。（所选材料体裁没有限制，以说明文、议论文和记叙文为主）评分原则

1.本题总分为25分，按5个档次给分。

2.评分时，先根据所写概要的内容和语言初步确定其所属档次，然后以该档次的要求来衡量、确定或调整档次，最后给分。

3.词数少于40和多于80的，从总分中减去2分。

4.评分时，应主要从以下四个方面考虑：

（1 ）对原文要点的理解和呈现情况；

（2）应用语法结构和词汇的准确性；

（3）上下文的连贯性；

（4）对各要点表达的独立性情况。

5.拼写与标点符号是语言准确性的一个重要方面，评分时，应视其对交际的影响程度予以考虑。

6.如书写较差以致影响交际，可将分数降低一个档次。各档次的给分范围和要求概要写作样题

《考试说明》提供了一篇样题，具体为：

阅读下面短文，根据其内容写一篇60词左右的内容概要。

Getting rid of dirt， in the opinion of most people， is a good thing. However， there is nothing fixed about attitudes to dirt.

In the early 16th century， people thought that dirt on the skin was a means to block out disease， as medical opinion had it that washing off dirt with hot water could open up the skin and let ills in. A particular danger was thought to lie in public baths. By 1538， the French king had closed the bath houses in his kingdom. So did the king of England in 1546. Thus began a long time when the rich and the poor in Europe lived with dirt in a friendly way. Henry IV， King of France， was famously dirty. Upon learning that a nobleman had taken a bath， the king ordered that， to avoid the attack of disease， the nobleman should not go out.

Though the belief in the merit（好处） of dirt was long-lived， dirt has no longer been regarded as a nice neighbor ever since the 18th century. Scientifically speaking， cleaning away dirt is good to health. Clean water supply and hand washing are practical means of preventing disease. Yet， it seems that standards of cleanliness have moved beyond science since World War II. Advertisements repeatedly sell the idea： clothes need to be whiter than white， cloths ever softer， surfaces to shine. Has the hate for dirt， however， gone too far？

Attitudes to dirt still differ hugely nowadays. Many first-time parents nervously try to warn their children off touching dirt， which might be responsible for the spread of disease. On the contrary， Mary Ruebush， an American immunologist（免疫学家）， encourages children to play in the dirt to build up a strong immune system. And the latter（后者） position is gaining some ground.

《考试说明》还提供了一个针对考试要求的概要样本（One possible version）：

People have mixed opinions towards dirt on our skin. （要点1）For a long time in history， people of some European countries， such as France， believed that dirt protected people from getting ill.（要点2） However， people began to change their attitudes to dirt about 200 years ago. People have been told that washing dirt off our body can keep us healthy.（要点 3）However， some scientists believe that exposure to some dirt may help our immune system.（要点4）题型分析

概要写作，简而言之就是对所读过的文章简要概括，写出文章的中心大意，也可称之为摘要。这一题型主要考查学生对文章主旨大意的概括和准确获取关键词的能力，同时考查学生用简洁的语言概括文章重要信息的能力以及对文章整体结构的把握能力。因此，概要写作是基于阅读理解和书面表达的，是二者的有机结合体，是阅读理解和书面表达的沟通桥梁。

写概要时考生需要注意，要把文章的具体信息用一些具有概括功能的词和句表述出来，而不是抄袭文章的原句，更不是把细节性信息作为中心。要通过对文章中的单词、词组和句子进行合理转换，对文章的具体信息进行概括，再用合适的语言表述出来。备考建议

首先，要明确写作步骤。建议写作步骤如下：

1.弄清要求。新高考的概要写作是写全文概要，不是写某一部分的概要，或者就某些问题写出要点。

2.细读原文。首先要仔细阅读短文，掌握文章主旨和结构，明确各段的大意。

3.列出原文要点。分析原文的内容和结构，将内容分项扼要表述并注意在结构上的顺序。在此基础上选出与文章主题密切相关的部分。并把这些要点用适当的连接词进行连接，使上下句之间具有连贯性。

4.列出关键词汇。关键词对于整篇文章的理解与转化成自己的语言都很关键，如果不能准确领会其用意，语篇理解的效果就会大打折扣。概要写作的基础是理解语篇，而读懂语篇的基础是词汇，尤其是对关键词汇的掌握与运用。在此基础上，综合运用语法与句法结构，按照行文逻辑组织语言，形成概要。

其次，要注意以下一些要点：

1.概要应包括原文中的主要事实，略去不必要的细节。

2.安排好篇幅的比例，概要应同原文保持协调，即用较多的文字写重要内容，用较少的文字写次要内容。

3.注意要点之间的衔接，要用适当的关联词语贯通全文，切忌只简单地写出一些互不相干的句子，但也不要每两句之间都加关联词语，以免显得生硬。应该说《考试说明》提供的样文中句子之间的连接不够自然，如此短的篇幅中接连用了两次“However”，应该避免这种情况。

4.不排斥用原文的某些词句，但不要照搬原文的句子，如果不能完全用自己的话语表达，至少要对原文句子做一些同义词替换，若结构上也能有一些转换，则会更好。

5.注意计算词数，看是否符合规定的词数要求。字数在40～80词为宜，少于40的和多于80的，从总分减去2分。

6.注意检查是否有拼写错误，标点符号是否规范，书写是否整洁，这些情况都是评分的考虑范围。

再次，要注重平时训练，不能靠临时抱佛脚，而是要功在平时。以下做法供参考：

1.积累常见的同义短语和句型转换，掌握并运用单词、短语和句型，学会词汇、短语、句型的升级。“巧妇难为无米之炊”，即使有再好的写作技巧，如果没有相应的基础词汇和句法知识，也很难写出上乘的概要写作作文。因此，考生要在基础词汇和句法知识上下功夫，以不变应万变。

2.精选浙江省往年高考优秀的说明文阅读文章，并进行结构分析和主旨概括训练。

3.训练篇章结构的布局，增强文章的上下文连贯性。

4.进行适度的专题练习。有计划地进行适度练习有利于考生快速掌握概要写作的要点，找到概要写作的感觉，冲破对概要写作的不适感。平时可多关注往年的高考阅读文章，进行结构分析和主旨概括训练。可按文体和题材，分类训练篇章结构的布局，增强对文章上下文连贯性的把握。概要写作首先要掌握各种文体的写作特点和框架。如：

（1）记叙文：what / who / when / where/ why / how

（2）议论文：opinion / idea + argument（supporting ideas / reasons）

（3）说明文：phenomenon / problem + reason + solution （cause and effect）， introduction of an object （how it is made， how it is used， how it may change， what makes it new or significant）

综合以上分析可知，新高考更加重视考查考生高中阶段英语基本技能的掌握情况，也注意考查考生进入高等学校继续学习的潜能，目标是利用高考命题的导向功能推动新课程的课堂教学改革，概要写作题型的设置就是基于这个出发点。应该说我们考生对概要写作并不完全陌生，因为其实在日常的英语教学中，教师经常让学生就所学英语课文逐段概括段落大意或者复述课文，这在一定程度上都为概要写作打下了基础。考生如果理解准确，涵盖全部要求，完全使用自己的语言，准确使用相应的语法结构和词汇，得分相应就会比较高。相反，如果概要写作部分出现两句以上整句抄自原文的现象，得分档次将会大大降低；所写内容与所提供内容无关将不得分。学生习作分析

1. 题目要求

阅读下面短文，根据其内容写一篇60词左右的内容概要。

“Technology is connecting us in ways never before in human history. How will that change our societies， our relationships， ourselves？”

Thats the question that interests Michael Wesch. The last time communication technology had such a wide ranging impact was 500 years ago with the invention of the printing press. Being able to print texts instead of writing them by hand transformed the world. It changed the way people could communicate with each other. Suddenly， many copies of books could be made quickly and easily. As more books became available， so ideas spread much more rapidly. But what will be the impact of digital technology， which is the most powerful connecting tool we have ever seen？

Michael Wesch argues that communication is fundamental to our relationships and so it follows that a change in the way we communicate will change those relationships. Wesch explores digital commination in his work. In particular， Wesch and his students look at social networking and other interactive Internet tools. A well-known example of such an application is YouTube. When people create and share personal videos on YouTube， anyone anywhere can watch it. Wesch says that this leads to some people feeling a sort of deep connection with the entire world. But its not a real relationship—its not the same connection as you feel with a member of your family. In fact， its a relationship without any real responsibility which you can turn off at any moment.

Wesch isnt interested in what new media was originally designed for but in how it can be used in other ways. For example， he describes how people organize social protests such as gathering signatures for online petition（请愿）via Facebook. He says that he tries to make sure his students end up in control of technology， not vice versa. Wesch believes its crucial for people to be able to operate in the new environment of digital media and to use it for the greatest possible impact. He also believes that technology can help us see relationships and global connections in positive ways.

Now， we are connected by using digital technology which has a deep influence in our daily life. For example， social networking and Internet tools like YouTube change our relationships from a real one to a one without any responsibility. Researchers want people to control the technology， instead of being controlled， and use it in positive new ways.

2. 学生习作学生习作1 Nowadays， technology greatly influences our daily life， just like printing once sped up the spread of ideas. Michael Wesch has been working on it for a long time. In his discovery， online communicate can have a wide connection to others， but is fragile too. He wishes people to use technology properly to improve our lifes， not being the slaves of them. （61 words）

【点评1】 这篇学生概要习作，总的来说理解还是比较准确的，大部分要点也涵盖到了。句子也未见明显抄袭现象。其授课教师打了21分，也就是第五档（下）。但我们认为这个分数偏高了，理由如下：（1）虽然说其语法错误不影响理解，但有几处比较明显，比如：“Nowadays， technology greatly influences our daily life”，最好改为“Today， technology has a significant influence on our daily lives”；“online communicate can have a wide connection to others”，应该改为“online communication can have a wide connection to others”，这里很可能是学生粗心大意，但体现为语法错误；另外，“improve our lifes”应该改为“improve our lives”。（2）逻辑联系不够明显，句子内部虽然用了一些连接词，但句子之间基本上没有用连接词来表明逻辑关系。若能适当添加个别连接词语，会更具有表达力，如：“Therefore， he wishes people to use technology properly ....”（3）语义指代不够明确。由于第一句中用了笼统的“technology”，而不是“communication technology”，这样就造成了后面一句中的“it”指代不够明确。另外，“He wishes people to use technology properly to improve our lifes”这一句中，“people”跟“our”也存在语义不搭，建议改为“their”。综上，该学生习作分数区间在第四档（下）比较合适，也就是16～18分区间。学生习作2

Michael Wesch wonders how communications will be in the future because technology now plays a great role in humans life， which is similar to the influence of the printing press invented 500 years ago. He says that communicating on Internet isnt a real relationship and it will change our connections. He also argues that human shouldnt be controlled by technology， which is supposed to benefit humans connection. （68 words）

【点评2】

这篇学生习作，其授课老师打了20分，我们认为这个分数有点偏低了。一起来分析一下：首先，理解准确，涵盖了全部要点。其次，准确使用语法结构和词汇，写作中几乎没有语法问题。再次，完全使用自己语言，所完成的概要语言流畅，结构紧凑。当然，该学生没有尝试用比较难的生词或句子结构。所以，我们认为可以打到第五档（下），即21～23分区间。学生习作3

Technology is comprehensively changing the world， especially the ways of commutations which are fundamental to our relationship. Hundreds years ago， the invention of the printing press made it possible to spread ideas quickly and easily. Currently， social networking and other interactive Internet tools are widely accepted. People can feel much more about the world， although its not a real relationship. And it is believed that new media will lead the world to a positive way. （74 words）

【点评3】

对该生习作，其授课老师给了23分（其中包括1分卷面分），我们总体赞同。明显可以看出，该学生的整体语言水平较高，对原文的理解也比较准确。通过“Hundreds years ago”和“Currently”的比照，达到了较好的信息与语义关联。唯一的不足是，原文中的主人公“Michael Wesch”及其作为一个研究者的身份被完全忽略了。如果能在最后点明，“And it is believed by researchers like Michael Wesch that...”或许更好些。学生习作4

Never has something altered the way people connect so entirely as 500-year-old printing press and modern digital technology have done. Michael Wesch is convinced that social networking has an enormous effect on social relationships but doubtful that those relationships are just unreal and swallow. He also puts an emphasis on individuals control over the technology and advocates that were supposed to take advantage of it both to the fullest and in positive brand-new ways.

【点评4】

虽然说这篇习作有一些语言错误，但我们还是倾向于打到第五档（下），即21～23分区间，因为这些错误基本上是由于尝试比较复杂的句式结构和比较高级的词汇而造成的。开篇就用了一个倒装的强调句型，比较正确的句子应该是：“Never has anything else altered the way people connect so entirely to each other as the 500-year-old printing press and modern digital technology have done.”或改进为“Nothing else has so profoundly altered the connection among people more/better than the 500-year-old printing press and modern digital technology.”或者索性改成比较自然的说法，如“Apart from the 500-year-old printing press and modern digital technology， nothing else has exerted a greater impact on the way people communicate with one another.” 第二句中的“but doubtful”应该改为“but is doubtful”，同一句中的“swallow”应该是“shallow”的误用，说明词汇的掌握还不够精准。除了这几个基本上是由于尝试复杂结构造成的语言问题外，应该说其他条件都是符合第五档的。学生习作5

Digital technology is the strongest connecting tool up to now， the affect of which interests Michael Wesch. In his opinion， digital technology will change peoples relationships. Itll strengthen peoples connection with the whole world though the relationship is without any real responsibility. He also believes that now media has a great possibility and ways to use it are beyond imagination. Itll have a positive impact， too.

【点评5】

这同样是一篇容易得高分的学生习作。理解准确，要点齐全，语法结构比较正确，语言表达总体流畅自然，句子显然是原创。上下文之间的承接比较顺理成章，虽然没有用太多的连接词语。略显不足的是，最后一句话分量有些不足。可以打在第五档，也就是21～25分区间。