时间:2024-05-11
几乎每一个老师都强调学生应当记笔记, 然而学生对此看法不一, 请阅读下表内容, 写一篇短文。
词数:120左右。
学生习作:
As we all know, almost every teacher asks their students to take notes in the① class. However, different students have different opinions.
Some students think taking notes itself is a means of strength② knowledge. Besides, taking notes makes it is③ possible for students to go over their past knowledge. Whats more, taking notes helps students to know the system of knowledge.
On the other hand, some students think taking notes makes students unable to concentrate on listening to the teacher, which have④ a bad effect on their study. Whats worse, it spends⑤ a lot of time to take notes.
In my opinion, taking notes is useful for our study, but we must pay more attention to listening to the teacher. If necessary, we can learn to take notes brief⑥.
修改说明:①此处不表示“在教室里”而表示“在课堂上”, 因此应去掉the。②of为介词,后面应接动名词作宾语, 因此strength应改为strengthening。③此处it为形式宾语, 因此is为多余词, 应删去。④此处which代表整个主句内容, 因此谓语动词应用单数, have应改为has。⑤此处表示“花费时间”且用it作形式主语, 因此spends应改为takes。⑥take notes为行为动词, 应用副词修饰, brief应改为briefly。
点评:本篇书面表达习作为观点介绍文,小作者根据写作要求从支持记笔记者观点、反对记笔记者观点和自己观点等角度介绍文意, 文章条理清晰, 思路明确, 有较强的整体美感。As we all know, However, Besides, Whats more, On the other hand, Whats worse, In my opinion of me, but等过渡性词汇的准确贴切使用使文章叙述更清楚, 思路更连贯, 逻辑更严密。定语从句、宾语从句、非限制性定语从句、并列句、条件状语从句等高级表达方式的运用使文章表达方式更多, 表达效果更好, 表达档次更高。所有这些成为本文不可缺的亮点。然而美中不足的是, 本文也存在一些语言语法方面的错误, 如冠词错误、非谓语动词错误、多余动词错误、主谓语一致错误、易混动词误用错误、形容词副词混用错误, 表明小作者语言表达能力有待于进一步提高。然而从总体上讲本文仍属一篇成功之作, 值得广大读者借鉴。
参考答案:
As we all know, almost every teacher asks their students to take notes in class. However, different students have different opinions.
Some students think taking notes itself is a means of strengthening knowledge. Besides, taking notes makes it possible for students to go over their past knowledge. Whats more, taking notes helps students to know the system of knowledge.
On the other hand, some students think taking notes makes students unable to concentrate on listening to the teacher, which has a bad effect on their study. Whats worse, it takes a lot of time to take notes.
In my opinion, taking notes is useful for our study, but we must pay more attention to listening to the teacher. If necessary, we can learn to take notes briefly.
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