同龄压力山大，我自有招应对

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Peer pressure is when your friends or somebody else is trying to force you to do something that you do not really wish to do. Often they try to convince you through name calling1） or other ways of being mean. I will tell you my experience with peer pressure and how I coped with it. Although it is not a very cool thing to go through as I suffered quite a bit， I feel that at the end of it， I do feel cool because I did not do stuff just as my friends thought I should. I stuck to what I believed in and what I felt was right for me. I feel strong.

I was part of a group of five girls at school and I really loved being with my friends. At the age of around 13， they all began to change. I used to feel like I did not know who these girls were； it was like I did not know them anymore. They wanted to do stuff they saw on TV or wherever， stuff that made them feel grown up. One time we went to the cinema together and in the intermission2） we went out to buy sweets. One of the girls began to giggle and said she had a surprise for all of us. We all went into the bathroom and she brought out a cigarette from her bag. She said she stole it from her mother's pack. Lisa （her name） said that if we smoked it we would be so cool. She had even bought a lighter3）. I felt my heart sink. I really did not want to do this. I hated cigarettes. I thought smoking was not cool， not the other way around. Two of my friends were totally convinced and so Lisa lit the cigarette and put it in her mouth. She took a breath in and then blew out the smoke. She coughed but then looked really proud. She passed it on to the other two and they did the same. Then it was Ana's turn. She said she did not want it and the other three began to call her a nerd4）. They said， "You are such a chicken and sooooo uncool； if you don't take it you will not be cool like us and so you can't be our friend." Ana looked really scared and weak， like she was going to give in， so they continued to tease her. They said "nerd， chicken， baby" etc. Ana then took the cigarette and copied the others.

What should I do？ Give in to them or go with what I believe in？ Do I want to be liked by "friends" who won't accept me as I am？ As a person who does not smoke？

I looked at them and walked out of the toilet saying， "See you inside. I am a non-smoker and I will not smoke just to be accepted by you."

They do this because they do not want to be the only ones doing whatever they do to feel cool.

I did this with my mother about saying no to alcohol and I think it helped me when I needed to tell my friends no to cigarettes.endprint

All kids feel the need to fit in and this is OK， but sometimes you may find yourself doing things not because you want to but because others have told you to. You may fear saying no since it will make you look dumb， or you may think that your "friends" might not like you anymore. True friends will accept you just the way you are！

Please remember that you have every right to say "no"， all you need is the courage to do so. It is hard to find this courage at times but it will help keep you safe and out of trouble. So practice saying "no"—imagine conversations where you wish to say no and practice doing so. Ask someone you trust to help you or use a mirror！

同龄压力是你的朋友或其他同龄人在迫使你去做你不想做的事情时向你施加的压力。他们通常会通过辱骂或其他不友好的方式试图让你服从。我要讲述一件我亲身遭遇同龄压力的经历，以及我是如何应对的。虽然那不是什么愉快的经历，因为过程相当痛苦，但事情结束时我感觉很好，因为我没有屈从于朋友的想法行事。我坚守了自己的信念，坚持了自己认为正确的事。现在，我感到内心很坚强。

在学校里，我跟另外四个女孩儿常在一起玩儿，我很喜欢和她们在一起。但是到了13岁左右，她们开始变了。我常常感到不认识她们，好像我已不再了解她们。她们想要做从电视上或别的什么地方看来的、让她们自我感觉像个大人的那些事情。有一次我们一起去看电影，幕间休息时，我们出去买糖果。我们当中的一个女孩咯咯地笑着说要给大家一个惊喜。待我们走进洗手间后，她从包里掏出一支香烟，说是从她妈妈的烟盒里偷来的。这个名叫莉萨的女孩说吸烟会让我们看上去很酷。她甚至连打火机都买好了。我的心不由得一沉。我实在不想这样做。我讨厌香烟。我认为恰恰相反，吸烟并不酷。有两个朋友被她彻底说服了，于是莉萨点燃香烟，放进了嘴里。她吸了一口，吐出一口烟，被呛得咳嗽，却接着露出一脸骄傲的表情。她把烟递给另外两个女孩，她们也各吸了一口。接下来轮到安娜了。她说她不想吸烟，那三个女孩便开始说她是傻瓜。她们说：“你真是个胆小鬼，一点儿都不酷，如果你不吸，就不能和我们一样酷，不配当我们的朋友。”安娜看上去很害怕很懦弱，似乎马上就要屈服了，于是她们继续取笑她，叫她“傻瓜、胆小鬼、小屁孩儿”什么的。于是安娜接过烟，照着其他人的样子做了。

我该怎么办？是屈从于她们还是坚持自己的想法？“朋友们”不肯接纳一个真实的、不吸烟的我，我是否还想要得到她们的喜欢？

我看了她们一眼，说：“我先进去了。我不吸烟，也不会为了让你们接受我而吸烟，”然后走出了洗手间。

她们之所以这么做，是因为她们在做任何自以为酷的举动时都想拉上别人做伴。

我曾经跟妈妈演练过如何拒绝饮酒，当我需要对朋友说我拒绝吸烟时，我认为那个练习对我很有帮助。

孩子们都希望自己合群，这很正常。但是有时候，你会发现自己做某件事的原因不是因为自己想做，而是因为别人要求你这么做。你可能会害怕说不，因为你担心这样会使你显得很蠢，或者你可能担心“朋友们”也许再也不喜欢你了。可真正的朋友会接受真实的你。

请记住，你完全有权说不，这只需要一点勇气。有时，要鼓起勇气并不容易，但它会帮助你远离危险和麻烦。所以，要练习说“不”——想象在和别人交谈的过程中打算拒绝对方时的情景，并练习拒绝对方。可以找一个你信任的人来帮忙，也可以自己对着镜子练习！

如何对同龄压力说不

When you find yourself in bad peer-pressure situation， it can be very difficult to gracefully bow out （退出）. However， there are some methods which work fairly well.

Enlist other like-minded people to your stance. 赢得有相同想法的人的支持，使他们跟你站在一边。

You may not be able to dissuade （劝阻） your peers. However， you're likely not the only person who's uncomfortable with such a peer-pressure situation. For instance， if you find yourself at the drinking party， someone else will happily go with you somewhere else fun and alcohol-free.

Change the activity， conversation， or make a joke. 换个活动，转换话题或开个玩笑。

If the "Truth or Dare" game （“真心话大冒险”游戏） is going from fun to uncomfortable， it may be time to make a joke of it and guide the party to something else. Doing so will often save face while avoiding direct confrontation （争执） or hurt feelings.

Blame your parent（s）. 归罪于父母。

One good excuse for younger teens to give for not doing something is simply saying you would suffer harsh consequences for doing something： "Oh， I can't go to a house party unless there's a parent there. Oh， you don't know my mom—she would totally check up with me！" Or： "Oh， my dad grounded （限制外出） me this week." It often doesn't matter that your mother is really strict with you or you are not actually grounded； it sounds like a working reason.

"No， thanks."

“不，谢谢。”

When a peer brings up a bad idea， it sometimes feels like everyone else's silence means it's an accepted idea. Instead， the silent majority may also be thinking the same as you， but too scared to say so. It often takes just one person to stand up to turn a situation.

1. name calling： 骂人；辱骂

2. intermission [??nt??m??n] n. （电影等的）幕间休息；幕间音乐演奏

3. lighter [?la?t?（r）] n. 打火机

4. nerd [n??d] n. 蠢人；可笑的人endprint