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We should protect animals

时间:2024-07-06

安徽省肥东县凯悦中学八(1)班 丁梦瑶

【习作内容】

Hello,everyone.Let's talk about wild animals today.

As we know,human beings could not live without animals around us.But more and more wild animalsare in danger,such as tigers,pandas and elephants.

Why are so many animals in danger?Because of human!The villages and fields are growing bigger.But grounds and forests are growing smaller.And there isn't enough①clear water for wild animals to drink andhumanalso②filledlotsofwild animals.We took away their homes.

What should we do to protect animals?It's very easy.We can let our families protectwild animals.And the governmentshouldsetupmorenature③park and warn people to reduce the pollution of rivers.

The wild animals are our friends.I think,protecting animals is protecting ourselves.

【教师点评】

本文是一篇关于保护动物题材的习作文章。小作者从珍稀动物的现状、动物濒危的原因以及保护动物的建议三个方面进行了说明。

行文中,小作者能够灵活运用所学的句型、短语和语法,使文章达到语言精练的效果。同时全文主题突出,条理清晰,语言流畅。文章的结尾升华了主题,以引起读者的共鸣,具有画龙点睛的作用!

需完善的内容:

①clear改为 clean。clean作形容词时,意为“干净的”,clear意为“清澈的;透明的”。 在这里用clean能更恰当地形容“干净的水源”。

②filled改为killed。fill意为“装满;充满”,kill意为“杀死”,这里要表达的是“人们也会杀害一些野生动物”。这两个属于拼写中易混淆的单词。

③park改为 parks。park为可数名词,且前面有单词more(更多的)修饰,因此park应用复数形式。

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