❷Making friends in challenging times

By Judy/崔海燕（译）

◆语篇导读

友谊淡如清水，醇如美酒，香如秋菊。没有朋友，世界只是荒野一片。若要想获得真正的朋友，我们就必须懂得交友之道。那么，如何能在逆境中结交到好朋友呢？

It can be difficult to make friends living in a big city,especially when you don't know many people.Over years of experience and studying social skills,I discovered that it's possible to make friends even without trying.There are just a few strategies that you have to use on aconsistentbasis.Those are what I'll outline a few simple steps.

1.Be seen without trying to get attention

You don't have to say anythingwittyor interesting to get people's attention,all you have to do is to place yourself in environments where people will see you.This can be done anywhere you go,such as in the supermarket or yoga studio.

2.Use the power of listening

There's an interesting wonder that occurs.When you listen to other people,they'll keep talking.Just keep giving them the good eye contact and show with your body language that you care.Listening is amechanismto build trust andlikeability.

3.Think about what you can give to the other people

So often we think about what we can get out of others when we try to make friends,but that thinking needs to beflippedaround.Try offering a piece of helpful advice or inviting someone you just met tograbcoffee or lunch with you the following week.

4.Always have three good stories to tell other people

When you have at least a few stories to share with others,you'll never run out of things to talk about.

5.Smile like there's no tomorrow

It may not be natural for some of us to smile,but smile is one of the most attractive things.So you can display it when you're meeting new people.

(2)尾砂和矿泥的物理力学性质。尾砂和矿泥物理力学性质指标差别不大，其中尾砂的孔隙比和渗透系数随着深度增加而减小，而相对密度逐渐增大，其他参数随着深度的变化不明显。矿泥的塑性指数较小，可塑性差，这与矿泥组成颗粒以非粘土矿物为主有关，矿泥液性指数一般在0.71～1.04之间，为可塑至流塑状态。

Think about these five strategies as tools.They're always available if you want to connect with people immediately and develop true and lasting friendships.

◆词语积淀

consistent/kən΄sɪstənt/adj.连续的

witty/΄wɪti/adj.机智的；言辞诙谐的

mechanism/΄mekənɪzəm/n.方法

likability/ˌlaɪkə΄bɪlətɪ/n.好感度

flip/flɪp/v.轻抛；按（开关）

grab/græb/v.攫取；抓住

1.There's an interesting wonder that occurs.When you listen to other people,they’ll keep talking.有一个有趣的现象，当你倾听别人时，他们会一直（跟你）聊天。

这是一个复合句。句中的that occurs是限制性定语从句，作wonder的定语；when引导的是时间状语从句，主句如果用的是一般将来时，从句要用一般现在时表将来。

【即时尝试】这是我读过的一本最有趣的故事书。

2.Try offering a piece of helpful advice or inviting someone you just met to grab coffee or lunch with you the following week.试着提供一个有用的建议或邀请你刚才遇到的人喝杯咖啡或者邀请他在接下来的一周和你共进午餐。

句中的 try doing sth.表示“试着干某事；尝试做某事”，表示“努力做某事”时，要用try to do sth.形式；句子you just met是someone的限制性定语从句，关系代词that或者who（m）被省略了；the following week是固定词组，意为“接下来的一周”。

【即时尝试】为什么不试着骑车去学校呢？

（答案见第63页）

译文助读

生活在一个大城市里是很难交到朋友的，尤其是当你还不认识很多人的时候。根据我多年的经验以及对社交技能的研究，我发现其实你甚至能毫不费力地交到朋友。有一些是你必须坚持使用的策略，在这里我将简单列出几个方法。

1.不刻意也能获得他人的注意

你不必说诙谐或有趣的事情来吸引人们的注意，你所要做的只是将你自己置身于人们能注意到的环境里。这方法你去的任何地方都能奏效，比如超市或瑜伽馆。

2.利用倾听的力量

有一个有趣的现象，当你倾听别人时，他们会一直（跟你）聊天。只要和他们保持良好的眼神接触，并用你的身体语言显示出你对他们的关心。倾听是一种建立信任和好感的途径。

3.想想你能带给别人什么

当我们试图交朋友的时候，经常会考虑我们能从别人那里得到什么，但是我们需要转变这种想法。试着提供一个有用的建议或邀请你刚才遇到的人喝杯咖啡或者邀请他在接下来的一周和你共进午餐。

4.总是有3个好故事能讲给别人听

当你至少有几个故事能与他人分享时，你将永远有谈不尽的话题。

5.尽情微笑

对有些人来说，微笑可能是件不自然的事情，但微笑却是最有吸引力的事情之一。所以当你结识新人时，你可以展示你的微笑。

我们可以把这5种策略作为（结交朋友的）手段。如果你想与他人立即建立关系，发展成真正长久的友谊时，这些方法总会有用的。